Never Trust Teenage Boys
by Livvie13
Summary: Everyone thinks the turtle brothers lead a life of rebellion and danger, but only Splinter sees the true side of them and sometimes that's not entirely a good thing. Humor, fluff and silliness, all in the Hamato household. The cover photo belongs to somebody called JohnYume on Deviantart. I hope he doesn't mind me using his amazing artwork and he deserves full credit. One-Shot


**Hi guys. This is the first ever one-shot I've ever written and the only reason I'd actually bothered to write it was because I was avoiding RE homework. Anyway, I know it's in the summary but I'd like to give credit to JohnYume for their amazing artwork. I'm sorry if you're angry that I've used you work as my cover photo but it's just so adorable and fits perfectly. i don't have a Deviantart account so I couldn't get in touch but if you're seeing this don't hesitate to PM me. Anyway I hope you like the story.**

**Hope you enjoy :D**

**Do not own TMNT**

* * *

><p>Normal P.O.V.<p>

Master Splinter never had a normal life. He was a pet rat to a great ninja master who was unfortunately betrayed by the man he once called brother. He escaped the feud between them and came into the sewers, unexpectedly finding four infant turtles. He brought them up as his sons and named them Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo. He always expected being a single parent to four turtles the same age to be a challenge but the life he was living drove him insane. It was bad enough having one teenage boy to look after but four? That was asking for too much.

Splinter sighed in the old armchair he'd claimed long ago as he watched his four sons fight over the remote. Leonardo wanted to watch a documentary about ninjitsu, Raphael wanted to watch a wrestling match, Donatello wanted to watch the new episode of "Gotham" and Michelangelo wanted to watch some form of monster movie Splinter didn't understood.

"We should watch the ninjitsu documentary, it's educational!" Leo shouted.

"Wrestling's more important than a subject we learn about every frickin' day!" Raph fought back.

"I need to see this episode! Everybody's found out Penguin's alive!" Donnie screamed.

"Dawn of the dead's starting!" Mikey shouted, almost blowing everybody's ear drums out.

Splinter never knew what sort of challenge he was taking on. Even though his sons were brothers and were born only minutes apart, they couldn't be more different. Leonardo thirsted for perfection, Raphael thirsted for control, Donatello thirsted for knowledge and Michelangelo thirsted for attention. He once again sighed when he noticed they'd all engaged in a physical fight.

At first he didn't even bother to stop it. There were arms, legs and heads shooting out of the scuffle his sons were engaged in. Once they began to scream in pure and utter fury, the remote flew out of the fight and landed right in front of Splinter. Without hesitation he picked it up. It took them a while to notice the remote was no longer in the middle of the fight.

"Hey, where's the remote?" Mikey asked with a confused expression.

"Donnie has it!" Raph blamed.

"I don't have it I thought Leo had it" Don sent a scowl towards Leo.

"I'm sure Mikey had it" Leo replied.

Once they'd established that none of them possessed the remote, they all slowly turned their heads towards their father who waved it about in his hand.

"None of you are getting this remote" Splinter stated..

"But how are we supposed to watch TV!?" Mikey screamed in terror. The thought of the orange clad turtle not having some technology to entertain him made his brothers cringe.

"It's okay Mikey, you don't need a remote to work a TV" Don stated even though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"If you crawl one more inch closer to that TV Donatello then your lab will be history" Splinter threatened. Gulping in fear, Don returned to his previous position.

"Sensei, we don't mean to be rude but we're bored and need something to do" Leo stated in his calm voice.

"Then how about you four start cooking dinner" Splinter replied with a smirk, leaning closer to his sons.

They all groaned at the order and began to stand, making their way over to the kitchen.

"This is all your fault" Raph whispered as he nudged Leo.

"If Donnie hadn't been so stubborn and just agreed to leave one episode of his stupid TV show involving scrawny pricks with umbrellas then we would've been fine" Leo shot back.

"Don't you dare speak of Penguin in that way" Don snarled.

"Why couldn't we just have watched the monster movie, we all like horrors" Mike interrupted.

As the siblings made their way into the kitchen, they all looked at each other in confusion. What were they supposed to make?

"So, what shall we make?" Mikey asked.

"Omelette"

"Chips"

"Pasta"

The four looked around at each other, all annoyed they'd picked something different.

"Okay lets settle this, me against Leo and Don against Mikey" Raph ordered. The four brothers all nodded as they faced their opponent. Raphael growled in anger as he threw rock and Leo threw paper, making him win their little battle. Mikey wasn't too bothered about losing to his elder brother as he hadn't picked anything to eat anyway. Mikey and Raph quickly stepped back as Leo and Don faced each others, their eyes reflecting their gaze. Leo's eyes narrowed in concentration as Donnie clenched his teeth, determined to win.

"Rock, paper scissors!" They said in unison and shut their eyes, to anxious to see who won the battle.

"Guess we're makin' pasta then" Raph mumbled. Leo and Donnie quickly opened their eyes to see Donnie had picked rock and Leo had picked scissors.

"Ha! Take this!" Donnie mocked as he thumped Leo on the head. "You three should all know by now that nobody beats me in rock, paper scissors" He boasted.

Ignoring their proud brother, the other three got to work. Mikey grabbed the pasta, Raph grabbed the sauce and Leo grabbed the pan, placing it on the stove. He quickly lit the stove as a blue flame shot out, causing a quick wave of heat to fill the room.

"NO!" Mikey and Raph screamed as they ran towards Leo and turned the stove off.

"What are you guys doing?" Leo asked, annoyed and confused at the same time.

"Leave the cooking to me and Mikey. In the kitchen you're even worse than Donnie and that's saying something" Raph taunted.

"Hey!" Donnie said as he shoved his brother.

"No offense Don but you are pretty bad. Remember the last time you tried to make soup!?" Mikey asked as the memory flooded all their minds. Don had gotten the soup can and accidently put it in the microwave for ten minutes, causing the metal to catch fire and set fire to the kitchen.

"Shut up" He mumbled as he walked towards the sauce.

Mikey quickly dumped the contents of the pasta in the pan before picking up the salt. Raph quickly snatched the small pot from his and began piling it in, making it sizzle in the pan.

"What are you doing Raph?" Mikey asked in shock.

"Putting some salt in it what do ya think?" He asked sarcastically.

"Well you're putting way too much in" Donnie interfered as he tried to snatch the pot from his immediate older brother. However, he quickly pulled is hand away and tossed the substance to Leo who continued what Raph had started.

"Gimme the salt Leo!" Mikey ordered as he stood side by side with Donnie.

"What are you gonna do if we don't, assault us?" Raph said with a smirk, making the pun incredibly obvious.

"That's it!" Mikey called out as he grabbed two pans, chucking on to Donnie. Raph and Leo did the same as they prepared themselves for battle. Their battle cries could be heard throughout the lair, echoing around the large home. Splinter sighed as he heard their roars of anger. He quickly decided it would be better if he sorted whatever fight was being created. His sons could be extremely dangerous in a fight but in a fight with kitchen appliances, there should be a hazard sign engraved into the door.

Meanwhile back in the kitchen, the fight had begun. Leonardo had taken on Michelangelo as Raphael had taken On Donatello.

"Why can't you just accept that you put too much salt in!?" Don asked between grunts.

"You two idiots said a lot of salt in it makes it taste better!" Raph replied.

"Yeah but not so much that it'll make you become the salt monster!" Donnie shot back.

"I'll show you who the salt monster is!" He growled. Raph and Don had a little space in between them, making it easier to throw their weapons at one another. Raph growled in frustration as he threw the pan towards his brother, Unfortunately for the red clad turtle, his younger brother quickly ducked but the problem only got worse when he failed to notice his father standing a few feet behind Donatello. Since Splinter was too focused on ending the fight, he didn't realize the pan was flying towards him. Within seconds he was lying on the floor unconscious.

"Master Splinter!" Raph called out as Splinter's sons hurried towards him. His lifeless body was sprawled across the floor. Don cringed when he saw the huge bump forming on his Father's head.

"You've killed him!" Mike screamed.

"He ain't dead idiot" Raphael growled.

"C'mon we need to get him on the couch" Leo demanded, anger filing his voice. His expression only got angrier when his brothers carelessly dumped their father on the couch, as though he was just a toy.

"Okay I want answers, which one of you threw the pan!" Leo growled. He wasn't happy at all with his brothers but he was mostly terrified of what Splinter would do when he woke up.

"I think you need to shout at the one who can't control his temper" Don replied as he shot a look of anger at Raph.

"To be fair Don you can't really control yours either when you're frustrated" Mikey butted in. The purple banded turtle just ignored his younger brothers words as he still stared at Raph.

"Okay, we don't have time for blame, lets just sort out what we're gonna do when he wakes up" Leo stated, even though he was the one who brought up the blame game.

"I think we should tell him he just had a really bad nightmare" Raph suggested.

"Give him a drug for recent memory loss" Donnie explained.

"Act like it never happened" Mikey said.

Before any of them could actually come up with a decent idea, a soft groan bellowed below them. Their eyes widened in fear as they stared at their father who was now awakening. His eyes patiently fluttered open, revealing the blurry sight of his sons.

"My sons, what happened?" He asked as a headache began to build up in his skull.

"Y-You were practicing back flips but you fell and hit your head" Donnie spoke up. To others it would've been a believable story but to Splinter it sounded like nonsense. He'd never failed one single flip in his life and he was never going to. Don's brothers all shot him annoyed glares as he replied by shrugging his shoulders and his teeth clenched in panic.

"You are lying Donatello. I remember taking the remote off you four and demanding you made dinner. You then began fighting again. The last thing I remember was walking into the kitchen" Master Splinter replied.

The brothers all let out a sigh of relief knowing that their Sensei was clueless about the pan.

"You fell sensei and hit your head" Michelangelo spoke up.

For a moment Splinter believed his sons words, but when he looked into the kitchen he saw a small pan clattered on the floor. At first he was confused at why the kitchen appliance was on the floor, but suddenly it all made sense. His son had threw a pan at him.

"Raphael could you please make me some pasta? But do not use a pan, I heard they could be dangerous in the wrong hands" He snarled. His sons all gulped at his response. He'd discovered their secret.

"I want all of you to write an essay on why you should not fight! And I want you to write it together!" Splinter shouted. It was rare he lost his temper but when his sons injured him with a kitchen appliance and lied to his face saying he'd done a back flip, he'd never heard such disrespect.

Bowing their heads in shame, the turtles all turned around and made their way towards Leo's room. Oblivious to his father lurking behind him, Donatello failed to notice his father grab his bo staff. It was only when he felt a sharp pain shoot through his head he screamed in pain and began to run when his father whacked the bo staff off his backside. The other turtles all screamed in fear as their sense began to chase them to Leonardo's room, hopefully giving him some peace for a couple of hours.

* * *

><p><strong>If you're wondering what is going to happen next, I will be working on a sequel. I cannot promise it will be done straight away as I've got major exams coming up and need to desperately study. Thanks for reading, bye guys x<strong>


End file.
